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ReplyDeleteForever in high school
ReplyDeleteAs unbelievable as it may sound, the people who we were in high school still to an extent defines who we are today. For some people that’s a good thing and for others not so much. Highschool might be one of the hardest places for individuals to define themselves. Kids are unable to find their true identity in high school because of conformity into cliques. What you wear, what you look like and what sports you play dominates over personality and is how kids are grouped socially. Because of this, “We know who looks down on us, who is above us, exactly who our friends and our enemies are.” (Gevinson 8) This terrifies some adolescents because everyone is trying to fit in.
As adolescents, for four years we have to adapt into the high school environment. That’s when we learn to “play the game.” High school is where we are mature enough to speak for ourselves and act how we want to act. Once we set this template for ourselves, it carries forward into the next chapters of our lives. In Joseph Allen’s view, “kids who suffer from mild depression at 14,15 and 16 have worse odds in the future- in romance, friendship, competency assessments by outsiders.” (Senior 11) Basically, Allen is saying our actions and our adolescent lives are carried on with us as we become adults. Allen’s comment matters because it is true that the people we were in high school still in a way defines us as who we are today.
Another example where it’s shown that as we grow older our high school self still impacts us is in The Breakfast Club study. The brainy girls in high school were able to use their brains later in life and found success. They were more comfortable with themselves in their new environment because they were surrounded with people just like them. On the other hand, the princesses in high school were having a hard time being comfortable and confident because they were still relying on how they looked and what they wore to guide them through life.
In the end, no matter how old we are in life we still reflect and are impacted by the person who we were in our high school years.
Growing out of High School
ReplyDeleteWe are all waiting for the day we graduate high school, not only to start anew, but to create new friends and show your true self. High school is a place where teenagers make friends and only stay close to a few. Teenagers are worried about what others think about them, trying to fit in, in some way. This causes anxiety, and about 20% of teenagers are affected by this. High School is thought as a place to learn, but in reality, it’s a place that forces you not to be yourself.
A student in high school may seem shy or nerdy, but after high school, maybe in college, they begin to accept who they really are and what they really like to do. As Jennifer Senior said, “Kenji was a nerd who kept mainly to himself and graduated first in our class” (Why You Truly Never Leave High School `). This explains how a teenager in high school was a shy nerdy kid, and he only wanted to fit it. But as we later find out, Kenji was outgoing, and he ended up going to a party with the rest of his classmates. This goes to show that in high school, you aren’t who you really are, and all it causes is anxiety.
High school is a place where not only teenagers learn and find new friends, but it’s a place where teenagers can suffer from it. In high school teenagers can gain a lot of anxiety. Researchers say that “and estimated 75 percent of people with fear-related disorders can trace the roots of their anxiety to earlier ages” (Senior 4). This shows us that high school does cause three quarters of adults that have anxiety, have it because of high school. This is why high school is a place of fear of not following the crowd and not fitting in.
We Who Must Not Be Labeled
ReplyDeleteAs a current high schooler, I can safely say that you and your classmates are mainly focused on one thing (other than college of course). That one, little, dreaded detail that everyone tries to define you as is your “label.” Whether it be “jocks, populars, brains, normals, druggies/toughs, outcasts or none,” (Senior 8) everyone has a label and everyone labels themselves. However, nothing good comes from being labeled. There should only be one label for us. That label should be “me.”
Due to my high school experience, if I had to label myself, I would use “normal.” For those of you who know me and who have been around my presence, you might think I am crazy for thinking of myself as “normal.” Labels I have heard about myself are “brainy,” “nerdy,” “jock,” and “strange.” I disagree with these images of myself. Yes I do enjoy school and do all of my homework, yes I am in band and orchestra, yes I play sports all year round, and yes I make quirky comments. However, I am not the next Steve Jobs, I am not sticking my head in a textbook every minute of the day, I am not overly obsessed with my sport, and I am not somebody who runs up and down the halls screaming bloody murder.
The difference between my label for myself and the labels given to me is exactly the “gap between reputation and self-perception” (Senior 8) Faris researched. Although he focused on aggression affected by popularity in high-school students to account for the gap, the gap could also be due to the self-portrait we paint of ourselves for our classmates to see.
I would bet my left leg that a majority of you, if not all of you, have acted differently than your subconscious was telling you to in a specific situation so others would see you in a particular light. This is because you wanted to fit in. You didn’t want the embarrassment and shame of being out casted by that specific group, so you forced yourself to fit the label they expect all of their friends (or acquaintances) to have.
As Brene Brown stated “Shame, is all about unwanted identities and labels,” (Senior 7). Shame and self-consciousness directly affect how you act throughout high school. You don’t want the embarrassment of being pushed around in school. You don’t want the embarrassment of having your deepest, darkest secrets leaked. And most of all, you do not want the aftertaste of rejection and isolation that shame leaves behind.
Due to the fear of shame, we manipulate our appearance, character, and aura during school hours to fit into the crowd we view as “popular” or “cool.” No wonder why people perceive themselves so different than others do. Your classmates are judging and labeling the skewed personality and reputation you create in order to fit in, compared to the true identity covered by all of the built up clutter high school has thrown at you.
Why create labels if all they do is just make us something we are not? Nobody benefits from them. If anything, they tear us down and make us more insecure about our unique talents and abilities that are now shunned by the rest of the student body, but will benefit us later in life. High school should be a place where we can express ourselves and be who we want to be. Instead, the labels given to us predetermine our fate while shame and embarrassment cloud our judgement. I know this is very cliché, but “be who you want to be, not what others want to see.”
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ReplyDeleteReject Labels, Embrace Yourself
ReplyDeleteHigh school is a time for a lot of change and figuring yourself out. It starts with you wanting to fit in. You want to be like everyone else, and so you change the person you are. The people you hang out with also can define who you are. People can often label you with the people you hang out with. These labels may or may not actually be you are, and they can lead to a feeling of shame. For many, “... their unwanted identities and labels started during their tweens and teens (Brown, 7).” These unwanted labels are what begins the devastating spiral into shame about who you are.
Many people are unhappy with who they are or were in high school. It’s a time where many people were trying to figure themselves out and often label other people in an attempt to figure out themselves. The labels that then get assigned to other people can lead to “... this incredibly painful feeling that you're not lovable or worthy of belonging…(Brown, 7).” This feeling Brown is mentioning? Shame. Nearly every single high school student feels shame in who they are; that they’re just a nerd, they’re too quiet, they’re just the class clown or they’re pictured as a preppy brat. It’s the labels that are assigned to each of us that causes shame.
Next time you think about labeling someone, think about that shame. Remember how terrible it feels to believe you’re not lovable. We should not label each other but instead embrace the little things that make you, you. And embrace the little things that makes every person who they are. Reject labels, embrace how you feel, not what other people think.
Long Term Effects of High School
ReplyDeleteDefine High School: 1) A school that typically comprises grades 9 through 12, attended after primary school or middle school. 2) A failed experiment in preparing young people for the adult world.
Throughout High School, the adolescent identity is extremely malleable because as it turns out, “...just before adolescence, the prefrontal cortex… undergoes a flurry of activity, giving young adults the intellectual capacity to form and identity, to develop the notion of self” (Senior 4). High School is a volatile and turbulent place where the stress of fitting in, building upon our education and maintaining a social life all join forces to destroy even the strongest among us.
Each morning, teens everywhere are shipped off at the crack of dawn to face ridicule in the wake of endless drama, levels of shame ranging on where you were placed in the predominant social hierarchy. Our individual experiences, especially during High School, shape who we are as it is through our different experiences and choices that we can be defined. No matter how old we are, we will always make connections to our past, “This phenomenon even has a name- the “reminiscence bump”...studies suggesting that memories from the ages of 15 to 25 are most vividly retained” (Senior 2). However, High School labels can be outgrown. In the case of Kenji, he was essentially a nobody in High School. Not worth a second glance to the jocks, class clowns or cheerleaders all too worried about their plans for the night. However, Kenji did not let his teenage experience define him, he used it to better himself. To become the “handsome, charming… software engineer… that radiates the kind of self-possession that earns instant respect” (Senior 1). For some, the scars of High School last long after graduation day. For others, troubles faced during High School are absorbed into our identities as a part of who we are, but can not be allowed to define us as a whole. I refuse to believe that High School is my defining moment because I hope that I too can have a similar story of success to share one day.
I thought that the article, "Why You Truly Never Leave High School," was very interesting. It is a very interesting point of view that I never thought about, especially when she goes into depth on how our adolescence shapes our future. The article starts off with talking about Kenji, and he was introduced as the typical nerd who kept to himself and got through his four years and became a very successful, attractive, engineer. At the 25 Year High School Reunion Kenji jokingly asked a former high school jock about the after party. He ended up going, but his response was that it was, "the party I never got invited to in high school." So his point was that even 25 years later the parties still had the same feeling as they might in high school. Although I cannot relate to attending a 25 year reunion, I can imagine 25 years from now being at my reunion. It does seem like it would only be right to have an "after party" with the same people you did in high school because that's all you know.
ReplyDeleteIt is weird to grasp the concept of getting out of high school and still being stuck there. I always say I do not want to be that person who is stuck in high school, but it may be inevitable. Paul Feig says, "I feel like most of the stuff I draw on, even today, is based on stuff that happened back then," I think part of the reason why that is is because high school and adolescent years are a time for firsts. Your first time doing something or experiencing something will usually stick in your mind over any other time. There is also a phenomenon talked about called the “reminiscence bump” which suggests that memories from the ages of 15 to 25 are most vividly retained. This really backs up the significance of those years.
There is also a science behind this theory. The article states that, “the prefrontal cortex- the part of the brain that governs our ability to reason, grasp attractions, control impulses, and self-reflect- undergoes a huge flurry of activity, giving young adults the intellectual capacity to form and identity, to develop the notion of a self. Any cultural stimuli we are exposed to during puberty can, therefore, make more of an impression.” In this case, the decisions we make and actions we take will directly correlate to those we made in our young years. These years shape how we are, but will not define us for life.
Throughout all of high school there is one very important factor and instinctual drive that all of us high school students fear from those around us, shame. High school throws together hundreds of students with a flurry of all ready junior high predetermined friend groups. These friend groups create an environment of shame to those outsiders from their own groups. where conforming is the norm, and where students may find it quite difficult in fact to express themselves within the very place where they were promised a fresh slate and a “restart” to their own personalities and identities.
ReplyDeleteThe feeling of rejection, or the concept of embarrassment in the mind of a high school student is the worst possible occurrence. So naturally students strive to become friends with their own “kind”: musicians, athletes or people with similar interests or characteristics about themselves. This leaves them comfortable within an environment of students that will generate an image of their own, displaying a sort of cumulative identity that defines that friend group. They feel safe from this “shame” concept, with a group of people exactly like them to fall back on, giving proof of the old saying “power in numbers”. Students fear stepping into a new friend group especially if they don’t have much in common with the new group of people. The fear of “judgement” by those new students discourages openness towards others, and implies pressure and an accent on “people pleasing” rather than sharing one’s true self as stated by Brene Brown.
Essentially, the four years of the American “rite of passage” force us to develop primarily two identities: the one we internalize and share with few, and the outwardly “pleaser” that we use in those very same situations trying to gain new friends by appealing to their “likes”.
So why is it that after high school, after the apparent fear of “shame” and embarrassment period is over, adults are still found to form pacts and groups? As Paul Feig puts it: life is just a “perpetual high school”, just usually a much different size. The same labels and fear of being singled out among a group remain behind but might just be coated by a business dress code, under a shirt and tie or dress. Robert Faris said the clearest version of the whole fear of embarrassment situation himself: “It’s not adolescence that’s the problem… it’s the giant box of strangers”. People simply recluse into their groups as having a friendly group of people that for the most part won’t judge you greatly outweighs the fear of “What is that person thinking about me right now”.
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ReplyDeleteI Wanted That?
ReplyDeleteWe usually tend to think glass half empty, we’re so critical and think negatively about wanting what we cannot have; and always wanting more. But we never take into account why we wanted it in the first place, like finding myself want more clothes when my closet is already full and always asking “Why don't I have anything to wear?”. The party that you want to get invited to was just a party. Kenji and Larry understood that the next day after hanging out with the cool crowd 25 years later. Not everything is what you’d expect it to be.
The self image we create during high school will always be stuck with us. Demographics tend to label us of who we are as a person. Adults have a higher esteem if they were ‘normal’ during adolescence (Carr 3).In high school we can’t grasp that a person has layers, but we can’t be defined as a specific thing for we fit in all categories. However we still label to fill the void of self-worthiness; to fit in. Demographics in high school leads to the self destruction of our self worth, connecting reputation and self-perception (Faris 8). Especially when we are just developing our brain, with more dopamine activity which makes us a little bit more intense; making us notoriously poor models of self-regulation. (B.J. Casey 4).
The mental damage that comes by critiquing someone will always be there. “Once impaired socially, it carries forward” (Allen 11) Shame becomes a part of highschool. Students feel unworthy of acceptance and fellowship. Unannounced we use a tactics like people pleasing (Brown 7). High school embodies who we are and who we become. The damage that high school brings mentally carries throughout our life, that’s why we truly never leave it.
Throughout your life, your teenage years can play a big role in defining the person you are. However, high school plays a big role on how you behave and react to many events that you will experience later on in life. During high school, people usually give people an image of themselves that others will define them as. Most of the time, this image is gotten from the people you hang around with, the things you say, and how you look. There is a big range of people that want to simply put in there four years and graduate, but there is the other group that tries to enjoy every day and make the best of it.
ReplyDeleteFor most people, as they look back on their high school years, they found that a lot of the things they did define them as the person they are today. Even so, they tend to do the same activities that they did whether it’s playing a sport, working out, etc. According to Paul Feig, the creator of “Freaks of Geeks”, he says “I feel like most of the stuff I draw on, even today, is based on stuff that happened back then” (Feig 2). Essentially, what Feig is saying is that he believes that the person who you shape yourself to be in highschool, shapes the way you are as you grow older. This being said, even though not everybody grows up to be the younger version of themselves, most of the time they do have many similarities.
In a survey conducted by Steinberg in 2007, she asked students to decide what category they most identify with: Jocks, Populars, Brains, Normals, Druggies, Outcasts, or none. They asked the same question of their peers, and the outcome they got was somewhat predictable, Most of “the kids who were identified as druggies, normals, or jocks, for example, tended to see themselves in the same way” (Steinberg 8). During high school, how you act and the people you hang out with, resemble most of who you are when you finally do graduate.
While some people may view you one way, you know the person you are and most of the time, that will carry on with you.
Glory days and Guilty days
ReplyDeleteAll those cliche, 80’s, high school movies on Netflix grasp the attention of almost every high schooler smart enough to pay 7 dollars a month for B rated movies. The stunning way that it pulls us in is the fact that there's at least one character to which we can all relate to. Whether it’s the bully or the bullied. And everyone knows how the movie ends, the bullied gets the girl, he becomes good-looking and successful, while the bully gets fat, broke and most likely becomes an alcoholic. This, however, may not just be the case in the movies, but in real life. High school is unarguably the epicenter of shame, and the weight of shame can either motivate or paralyze with guilt, and this may be the reason for most of the outcomes of all the classic cheesy movies.
Kenji, an unpopular kid in his class, is now a successful software engineer. One that would never even be considered to be put on an invite list for a party, yet now the most desired at his high school reunion. This could be because of shame. The shame that no one wanted to hangout with Kenji motivated him to become a successful social butterfly as to not go through his embarrassment and loneliness again.
The shame of one's actions could also affect the bully. It could paralyze them with guilt, so they replay their actions in their head over and over. This could lead their lives into a mediocre way of living.
Who you are in high school is not who you will be for the rest of your life, yet your actions will always affect the outcome of your success.